How do you define a perfect body? Is it curvaceous with a flat tummy? Or is it slender with well-proportioned body parts? I am sure you have a vivid picture of what a perfect body should look like. 

"It was a tough journey to begin with- the pain, the lack of morale, the unnoticable changes- but I made a decision to shed some weight."

I have never had body insecurities, I have always loved me, but after learning my status I was referred to a counselor who gave me a lot of advice, mostly she insisted on one thing: food. She said, "Mukiri, eat as much as you can, eat this, drink that''. I followed her advice, I would eat three to four meals per day, and not the light one's, the kind of food you eat until you unbutton to find comfort within you. I used to take at least one litre of milk per day,  and I would take fruits once or twice per week. My body started changing, my clothes could not fit anymore, not even the ones with elasticity, I could not go for a short walk without running out of breath, little chores became hard tasks for me. Now I weighed about 98kg. I tried to reduce my portion of food but still I could eat until I had no more food left to keep. I guess I was depressed, and food became my shoulder to lean on. For the first time in my life, I experienced body shaming from coworkers and  some relatives, and the sad thing was I never realized it until later, I thought the bad comments were normal, so it never bothered me, but after a while, I knew I had to do something about it. So, I started with watching YouTube videos on losing weight, but I just enjoyed watching them- I never exercised, and if I did, it would be two sit ups. Then in March 2020 during the lockdown I decided to work out, because I knew I had two choices: to lose some weight or to gain as much as possible. My plan was to work out for at least 30 minutes per day i.e. 15 minutes in the morning and evenings. It was a tough journey to begin with- the pain, the lack of morale, the unnoticeable changes- but I had made a decision to shed some weight. As time went by, I moved from 15 to 30 minutes of exercise. I also changed my diet. I ate more fruits, took water, and proteins. This time I ate enough food without overeating. For the first time I broke my counselors rule "eat as much as possible". I didn't have a nutritionist to guide me but I used Google. 

"I still love my body."

Six months later, in August 2020 after lockdown, I had to take my clothes to a tailor for adjustments, before changing the wardrobe. I had lost 30kgs. It was a great achievement to learn how to control my feeding. Now that I am 68 kgs, I try to work out at least twice per week, mostly using a skipping rope. I still love my body. What worries me is that even after losing so much weight I still experience body shaming from the same people, "ooo now you're too skinny you need to add some meat" but no one can lower my self-esteem. Because a perfect body is the one you feel comfortable with, without minding what other people have to say.  You need to love yourself first, because it's only you who knows how comfortable you are with your body. Don't gain or lose weight to please people, do it for yourself. If you need some help with your diet, look for a nutritionist, but don't just eat to clear the plate, try to eat healthy meals as much as possible, and always have a second thought before you put anything in your mouth. I am not an advocate for weight loss or weight gain, but be yourself and let your body stay where it feels comfortable, healthy and where your self-esteem is not lowered. Above all, treat yourself right.