Life As A Single Mom Trying To Date Again
November 5, 2019
Healing After Trauma
November 18, 2019
Life As A Single Mom Trying To Date Again
November 5, 2019
Healing After Trauma
November 18, 2019
13
0 Comments

Remember You Are Not Alone

Themes
Categories
Topics

Saturday 16th September 2017 will be forever known to me as the day I met my love

Pulling up, I caught a quick glance of my beau before we officially met (we had been talking online for a week). There he stood outside of the cinema having one last nervous cigarette. I can honestly say, as soon as our eyes met, I knew he was everything I had ever wanted.

Honesty, sincerity, humor and love seemed impossible in my twenty-nine years in search of love, yet here he was before my very eyes who encapsulated everything I ever wanted and more . We had spoken briefly prior to us meeting

The date went well, and we agreed to see each other again. And again, and again

Fast forward to 1st November 2017

I walked into hospital expecting to begin a course of treatment for low platelets, when I walked into a room full of doctors… five in total, and the news was delivered to me.

It felt like time stood still. I was being suffocated. Numbness encased my whole being. My ignorance allowed me to believe I could not continue living a ‘normal’ life. I became consumed by fear. I felt I was going to infect anything and anyone.

That evening I decided I had to be honest with my partner, Mark , and tell him about my diagnosis. Six weeks of pure bliss with my new love was about to be shattered before my eyes.

As the words passed my lips, I saw him experience the same numbness I felt eight hours earlier. I gave Mark the choice to leave; I wouldn’t have blamed him if he did!

We drove around for what felt like hours in absolute silence. Then tears filled his eyes.

How could I have done this to him? How could I expect him to still be with me after this? His broken words filled the air, “Why did this have to happen to you?” I knew then that he loved me, all of me, whole heartedly. I loved him even more in that moment than I could ever truly know . That evening we sat and spoke about my new diagnosis. Mark explained to me how he still loved me regardless. It was incredibly painful to hear as that evening I can say for certain, I did not love myself. The pain and heartache I had caused others broke my heart in two.  

"Being newly diagnosed, I tried to find a voice, a blog, a report, a Facebook group, a twitter feed, something, someone that was experiencing the same feelings that I was. I needed to know someone was out there who had experienced, or was currently experiencing, the exact same thing as I was."

 Skip to 5th May 2019 and I had been whisked away for a romantic weekend. Mark asked me to marry him. Of course, my answer was YES!

Within two years there has been: 1 HIV diagnosis, 1 proposal and 1 house bought and I wouldn’t change a thing. Mark and I are simply looking forward to our blissful future together.

Being newly diagnosed, I tried to find a voice, a blog, a report, a Facebook group, a twitter feed, something, someone that was experiencing the same feelings that I was. I needed to know someone was out there who had experienced, or was currently experiencing, the exact same thing as I was. I have since realized I was looking for confirmation that my ever-winding path would eventually straighten out. If this is you, believe me when I say, time is all you need. You are stronger than you think.

To the woman who feels alone, to the woman who doesn’t love herself and to the woman who blames herself: Remember, you are never alone. No, it wasn’t your fault. Never blame yourself. And you are loved more than you will ever know .

 

0 0 votes
Article Rating

Related posts

September 12, 2024

Yes, Women Get HIV Too

Read more
January 31, 2024

Battling STIs

Read more
January 16, 2024

In my thirties

Read more

GE DIGITAL CAMERA

October 23, 2023

My Experience Attending the BCC3 Sharing and Learning Workshop Women’s Retreat at Loone Lake

Read more
Subscribe
Notify of
0 Comments
oldest
newest most voted
Inline Feedbacks
View all comments

Be the first to receive updates and news


Warning: Undefined array key "rememberMe3610" in /home/lifeandl/public_html/wp-content/plugins/i-agree-popups/includes/i-agree-wp-footer.php on line 84
 

LEGAL INFORMATION AND TERMS OF USE

February 2018, Available online here

Welcome to Life and Love with HIV. We want to make this community safe and enjoyable for everyone. So we have set a few rules to follow. Please read below our Terms of Use carefully. We may update these Terms from time to time, so please review them regularly. If you continue to browse and use this Site, you are agreeing to these Terms and any changes made therein. This is a legal agreement. If you do not accept these Terms, please do not use this Site.

Life and Love with HIV consists of material provided under the domain, www.lifeandlovewithhiv.ca (hereinafter referred to as the “Site”). The Site was designed by a diverse group of women living with HIV and allied sex and relationship researchers at Simon Fraser University’s Faculty of Health Sciences, in collaboration with ViVA and the International Community of Women Living with HIV.

All material provided on the Site is intended for informational purposes only and should not be used to replace the advice of a qualified professional.

Terms of Use

  1. Reserved Rights and Grant of Limited License

    Copyright © Simon Fraser University. All rights reserved.

    (a) Any intellectual property on the Site and all rights thereto, including copyright, is owned by the person who created it (the “Creator”).
    (b) As a user of this Site, you are granted a limited license to republish information without prior written consent for your own personal, non-commercial use only, provided i) the information is not modified and ii) you ensure proper credit with a link back to the original URL (i.e., This article was written by [Author’s Name] and originally published on Life and Love with HIV).
  2. Community Guidelines
    (a) We encourage thoughtful and respectful conversations on the Site. Please be courteous to everyone, as if you were having a face-to-face discussion.
    (b) The following is prohibited: (i) Offensive and hate-filled content on the basis of HIV status, race, gender, sexual orientation, age, disability, country of origin, and so forth; (ii) Insulting or personally attacking people; (iii) Bullying, harassment, threats, discrimination, or stigma producing comments; (iv) Vulgar, profane, abusive, or hateful language; (v) Material that may reasonably construed as unlawful; (vi) Soliciting, advertising or marketing, except in designed spaces; (vii) Disclosure of personal information about yourself or anyone else, such as phone number, home address, or email.
    (c) We reserve the right to take down or not publish any content that does not comply with these rules. We will also remove an article in full if, for whatever reason, the contributing author(s) no longer wish to have their story published on this Site.
  3. Submissions and Privacy
    (a) We collect information from you when you voluntarily:
    1. Subscribe to the Life and Love with HIV newsletter. This newsletter contains various updates, stories, research, and resources related to sexuality and relationships in the context of HIV. We use a third-party server (MailChimp) to store the information you submit when you sign up for the newsletter. By providing this information, you are agreeing to receive emails from Life and Love with HIV. If at any time you would like to unsubscribe, please contact us (info@lifeandlovewithHIV.ca) and we will promptly remove you from ALL correspondence.
    2. Send us an email, fill out a Google form, or submit an article, comment, or any other content for publication. Usernames will appear with published content. Email addresses will NOT be shared publicly and are only accessible to Life and Love with HIV. Please also be aware that all blog contributors (whether providing original articles or quotes) will be asked to read and agree to a “Contributor Agreement.” If at any time you would like to remove any content you have published on Life and Love with HIV, please contact us (info@lifeandlovewithHIV.ca) and we will promptly remove it.
    3. Fill out a survey. We may conduct surveys to monitor user satisfaction, inform the development of new resource, or evaluate website effectiveness. Your participation is 100% voluntary and no personally identifying information will be shared publicly. If draws or prizes are involved, email addresses will be collected and used to contact winners.
    (b) We do not presently use an SSL certificate. However, we regularly employ Malware Scanning to ensure the ongoing security of Life and Love with HIV.
    (c) The Internet is not a secure medium and privacy cannot be ensured. Internet e-mail is vulnerable to interception and forgery. Simon Fraser University will not be responsible for any damages you or any third party may suffer as a result of the transmission of confidential information that you make to Simon Fraser University through the Internet, or that you expressly or implicitly authorize Simon Fraser University to make, or for any errors or any changes made to any transmitted information.
  4. No Advice or Warranties
    (a) You shall be fully responsible for any consequences resulting from your use of the Site. The information on the Site is provided for educational or information purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional advice, whether medical, legal, or otherwise.
    (b) Simon Fraser University does not guarantee the quality, accuracy, completeness or timeliness of the information on the Site. While efforts are made to verify the information provided, the Site should not be assumed to be error free. Furthermore, some information on the Site has been provided by third parties and has not necessarily been verified by Simon Fraser University.
    (c) Simon Fraser University, nor any of the partners, funders, editors, writers, researchers, or volunteers involved in Life and Love with HIV, shall not be responsible for any direct, indirect, special, incidental or consequential damage or any other damages whatsoever and howsoever caused, arising out of or in connection with the use of the Site or in reliance on the information available on the Site, including the loss of use, lost data, lost business profits, business interruption, personal injury, or any other personal or pecuniary loss, whether the action is in contract, tort (including negligence) or other tortious action.
  5. No Endorsement
    (a) The Site may contain links to other sites. These links are provided as references to help you identify and locate other Internet resources that may be of interest. Parties other than Simon Fraser University independently develop and maintain these other sites. Therefore, Simon Fraser University does not assume responsibility for the accuracy or appropriateness of the information contained at such sites. In providing links to other sites, Simon Fraser University is not acting as a publisher or disseminator of the material contained on these other sites and does not seek to control the content of, or maintain any type of editorial control over, such sites.
    (b) A link to another site should not be construed to mean that Simon Fraser University is associated with or is legally authorized to use any trademark, trade name, logo or copyrighted symbol that may be reflected in the link or the description of the link to such other sites. In addition, the mention of another party or its product or services on the Site should not be construed as an endorsement of that party or its product or service.
  6. Trade Marks

    Certain words, phrases, names, designs or logos used on the Site may constitute trade marks, service marks or trade names of Simon Fraser University or other entities. The display of any such marks or names on the Site does not imply that Simon Fraser University or other entities have granted a license or authorization of any kind to use such marks or names.

  7. Access and Interference

    In using the Site, you agree that you will not use any device, software or routine to interfere or attempt to interfere with the proper working of the Site. You agree that you will not use any robot, spider, other automatic device, or manual process to impose an “unreasonable or disproportionately large load” on SFU’s infrastructure. An “unreasonable or disproportionately large load” is one that prevents other members of the University community from gaining fair and equitable access to web-based systems and resources.

  8. Computer Viruses

    While every effort is made to ensure that all information provided on the Site does not contain computer viruses, you should take reasonable and appropriate precautions to scan for computer viruses and should ensure that you have a complete and current backup of the applicable items or information contained on your computer system. You should pay specific attention to some of the newer viruses that have been written to automatically execute when an infected word processing document is loaded into certain word processing programs.

  9. Choice of Law

    The laws of the Province of British Columbia and the laws of Canada applicable therein shall govern as to the interpretation, validity and effect of this document, notwithstanding any conflict of laws provisions of your domicile, residence or physical location. You hereby consent and submit to the exclusive jurisdiction of the courts of the Province of British Columbia in any action or proceeding instituted under or related to your use of the Site.

  10. Web Analytics and Remarking
    (a) This Site uses web analytics tools to help analyze how the Site is used and to improve visitors’ online experience. These tools work by tagging web pages to capture a limited amount of data (including the internet protocol (“IP”) address of the computer, device or network being used to access the pages). This data is used for aggregate reporting purposes. None of this data can be used by Simon Fraser University or the service provider to identify you.
    (b) This Site also uses remarketing tools, which enable Simon Fraser University or other entities to serve you with relevant advertisements outside of the Simon Fraser University domain. Web analytics and remarketing tools work by using cookies (small files stored on your computer’s web browser). You may refuse the use of cookies by selecting the appropriate setting on your browser (please note that if you do this you may not be able to use the full functionality of this website). Some service providers also allow you to opt out of their use of cookies for advertising purposes, e.g. Google Ad’s Settings Page.

Responsible Use of Information Technology

Use of the Site is governed by Simon Fraser University’s policy on Fair Use of Information and Communications Technology.

Copyright at SFU

Learn about copyright, what it covers, and how you can get permission to use someone’s copyrighted material.

0 0 votes
Article Rating
Agree Disagree
0
Would love your thoughts, please comment.x
()
x