I sincerely believe that I wouldn’t be here or the growing person that I am today if it wasn’t for the vast and beautiful sisterhood that I’ve had the honor of being a part of in the last decade. When it all feels like too much to handle and our worlds are crumbling either from within us or around us, sisterhood might be that dependable source for many of us to lean in, in order to shift pain into joy while forming a very special bond. I don’t know about you, but I know most that even when some of us have loved ones to lean on for other things it’s not always easy to lean on them in times when we’re trying to navigate the conditions that uniquely impact us as women.

I’ve been HIV positive since birth so you may or may not be able to imagine that I’ve had to learn to overcome a lot of challenges early on. Most of those early challenges consist of three generations of trauma around HIV, my removal from my parents, and feelings of abandonment. These challenges consistently surfaced throughout my life and oftentimes it got really unbearable. A lot of that pain manifested itself in my lack of ability to ask for advice, guidance, and overall support. I did end up being able to recognize that this wasn’t serving me well and that it was okay to not have it all together, figured out, or strong all the time but even to this day, it’s a constant hardship.

"Most of those early challenges consist of three generations of trauma around HIV, my removal from my parents, and feelings of abandonment."

When I left home for the first time, I was feeling excited and naturally apprehensive but more so just eager to begin this stage of freedom that we all wish to have. Being a young adult comes with a lot of uncertainty and rebellious characteristics. I didn’t have the life skills to manage or even comprehend all of my feelings during this time, so I subconsciously chose to relieve my stress by figuratively placing my HIV out of sight and out of mind. My HIV had been the focal point of my narrative for so long and at that point, I still had a lot of unresolved anger and self-shame about my positive status. I kept this up for about a year going back and forth with my decision of not taking my medications or taking care of my health in general. It was an unsettling time in my younger life, and I was so good at masking it all. Eventually, my cry for more all-embracing support did reach someone very close to me and that person connected me to a group of women that could better comprehend or at least surround me with that unconditional support in a non-judgmental environment. It was an organization called BABES-Network which provided peer support for women living with HIV and their families. They helped lessen isolation and stigma while forming a “sisterhood of support” through education, outreach, advocacy, and more. The day I met my first Peer Advocate at BABES, I was hesitant about it at first but I did appreciate the calls and emails afterward and more so I felt hope when I was invited to attend my first ever BABES retreat with about 30 other HIV positive women.

"...That person connected me to a group of women that could better comprehend or at least surround me with that unconditional support in a non-judgmental environment."

To this day, that sisterhood of support has been a pivotal part of my reality. I grew many years and I obtained employment with that sisterhood. I am so blessed to have them rooting for me especially in times of life growth. Sisterhood has taught me to be gentle with myself, to trust my instincts, to know that I have people beside me and that I don't have to do things alone unless I want to. It is difficult to find deep emotional connections and a sense of belonging in this world but ultimately many of us crave it and thrive when we have it. Sisterhoods aren't afraid of being transparent and holding each other accountable for our actions. They are willing to challenge the group so that we can deepen our growth as people and as a community. Gaining a sisterhood encourages us to stand in our power, live life to the best of our ability, try new things, and take chances. I can only wish that everyone can experience what it is like to feel the power in sisterhood. Finally, to all of my sisters out there, I just want to say thank you. I see and appreciate you all. Even when we're not in space together you're forever here with me and I hope I am there for you.