Aging is good, especially when you're a teenager, you long to turn eighteen. There you become a citizen, you're considered old enough to make your own decisions, the burning surge of flying away from your ‘strict parents’ hits your mind and all you can think of is, “when and how can I move out?” But as you hit late twenties you start wondering if aging is inevitable, and within a short while, you're celebrating your 30th birthday. 

I turned 30 two years ago, and I celebrated my new beginnings with a tattoo calligraphy written on my left chest side, just below my beauty bones - it reads, "each time it's hurts a little less", and it consoles me whenever I am down. Thirty comes with expectations, you get a great view for life. It's like you're in the horizon, you see things in black and white, you start to weigh your achievements; the goals that you had set in your twenties, it also comes with fear. Lots of fear I would say, especially fear of getting old. I must mention that I have used so many beauty creams and face serums with a tag, 'anti aging or anti wrinkle', if it doesn't have such, I can't buy it! Oh, I even have a face routine - funny because before that I only used glycerin huh!

"Lots of fear I would say, especially the fear of getting old."

Then comes the questions: “When are you having kids?' Why don't you have kids?” Everyone wants to know why? When? Some men would even suggest they can offer me some semen for free if that's what am lacking, but I have learnt to rub it off and move on with our conversation.

What about friends? The number of friends have really decreased mainly because most of my friends are married and they have kids and of course their interests and priorities have changed, they want to take care of their family, they even have family friends; on the other hand, I want to go out to live the moment! I only have one friend who calls to check on me, the others are just friends. I'm trying to make new friends, it’s kind of hard, it takes time before you blend in.

"I have never enjoyed sex like I do now, I guess experience is the best teacher..."

Is it hard to find love in your 30s? That’s just a myth, I believe I am at the peak of maturity; I am composed and I know what I want, so I have had more guys coming my way. I have never enjoyed sex like I do now, I guess experience is the best teacher, and it's true what they say, 'when younger men start hitting on you, it's a sign you're getting old.'

What about my sense of fashion? My way of clothing is different from my agemates, I choose clothes that will make me feel young, vibrant and sexier. I dress to kill but don't get me wrong, I may fear getting old but I have never doubted my physical appearance. On the other side my married friend dress in a preservative manner, due to some cultural saying that married woman should cover most of their body and should not wear tight clothes. Nowadays I don't tell my age, I ask you to guess and whatever number you say, that is the correct answer - "You must be 26 or 27!” “Oh how did you know, you're a genius!”

"After all that, I never forget to wear a smile."

As you get deeper into thirties, you become wiser on matters concerning money, you're able to budget long term and short term goals. Also your diet changes automatically, your taste buds like things that you hated when you were young, like in my case I don't like sugar anymore, I like coffee with no sugar.

Despite all that, your emotions are still intact. I have had several breakdowns, I cry as much as I can, I have had panic attacks, sometimes I spend my nights crying questioning myself, “Why me? Am I the problem? Will I ever have a family of my own? Or is it too late?” Worrying is part of life and we are always thinking of what next, but after all that I never forget to wear a smile. My skin may change but I am still young at heart.