In this time of isolation, it’s nice to retreat into fun and fantasy…

I would love to hear your responses to this question: If I could have sex one more time, what would it look like? That’s it - one more time - but only one. Just to clarify, I mean the last time ever.

I would be in a room dimly lit with incense, candles, velvet, leather… well, you get the vibe. There would be wine and weed, psychedelics and whatever substance you would need to let go - and get off.

There are many of us in that room. The full spectrum of human sexuality and gender, free in a blissful moment in time where the rules of the outside world don’t matter.

"I own my sex, my pleasure, my sexuality!"

The only rule in this room is consent.

Everyone is welcome here!

Sex and pleasure has always been a huge part of my life. But I have forgone sex and pleasure in differing periods of my life.

In my marriage, I became sexually submissive. I didn’t feel I could say what I wanted and needed. When I did, it would be misunderstood. His low libido matched with my raging inferno left us at odds, and before I even knew it, he had put out my flame. I felt undesirable, dirty, unworthy and lost my connection to my sex. Something I had to fight to get back after my HIV diagnosis.

"There are many intersections of Covid-19 and the AIDS epidemic. In my quiet moments, I wonder what lessons the broader global community will learn about viruses... Will it help them understand what stigma feels like? "

After my HIV diagnosis, like so many of us, I felt I lost my sexuality, that I didn’t have a right to sex, that people would fear sex (that I would fear sex). I was sick. I felt ugly. A social outcast. One of the untouchables. Even when my health improved, the stigma from others was so great that I was constantly pushed to the margins of society, too dangerous to touch, too much of a risk to take.

Thank fuck I lost that feeling! I own my sex, my pleasure, my sexuality! And if I could only fuck one more time… I want you all there in my room with me! (Yummy xxx)

And now, here we are. At home and in isolation - together but apart.

Again, I find my life transformed by a virus dictating who and how I fuck. But this time, I’m ok with it. I understand it. There are many intersections of Covid-19 and the AIDS epidemic. In my quiet moments, I wonder what lessons the broader global community will learn about viruses. Will it change the way the perceive people like us? Will it help them understand what stigma feels like? Understand how viruses work and how to protect ourselves?

I guess we will have to wait and see.

Until then, I hope we can all enjoy some fun and fantasy!

"I would love to hear your responses to this question: If I could have sex one more time, what would it look like?"